The Great Flea Wars - Part I

Hey – Snicker here.

I don’t like fleas. However, fleas like me because my coat is thick and fluffy and it makes the little pests hard to find. My HM found that out recently when she used a comb on my neck and I heard her gasp! “Snicker has fleas!” I immediately knew what that meant. All of my feline brothers and sisters and me, would be purged of these infestations by some kind of chemical warfare. I know that my HM likes everything organic, but sometimes, even she has to revert to chemicals. She uses Earth-friendly Arm and Hammer baking soda on the carpets to kill the flea eggs, and that is OK as it does work, (it dries out the little pests) but she still has to treat each cat too.

Therefore, she snagged each one of us in turn. HM is very clever. She waits until we are taking a snooze and then she comes up behind us and spreads some kind of oozy stuff on our withers – you know - just out of reach of our paws and tongues.  When she came at me, I had one eye open and ready to split that scene, but she snagged me anyway. I saw the container of tubes on the kitchen counter earlier and it said “Advantage”. Whose advantage? Certainly not to my advantage.

Anyway, she got us all and we were all not happy about the nap interruption. We also all felt dirty because we couldn’t clean “the spot” between our withers.

Within 12 hours, all the little fleas were dead and HM got out the Hoover and started vacuuming all over the house. None of us guys like the “glopita-glopita” machine (the vacuum) and we hide in cabinets, under beds, behind the RCA TV, on top of the Westinghouse dryer and anywhere that we won’t be sucked up!

PS: The “glopita-glopita” machine expression came from the 1965 movie “How to Murder Your Wife” starring none other than Jack Lemmon (the cartoonist in the movie) and Virna Lisi! The “glopita-glopita” machine was the cement mixer that Jack Lemmon’s character heard outside his apartment.

Cat Ciao!

Abandoned

I was abandoned at a vet’s office late one dark and rainy night in a dirty wet pet carrier that was taped together with duct tape. I was very dirty, scrawny, scared, wet and hungry. Fortunately for me, the vet was sympathetic and took me inside when she arrived the next morning, gave me a bowl of water and some Science Diet cat food and a warm place to sleep. She looked me over, checked my heart and lungs, gave me antibiotics to fend off infection from a wound on my back leg and Advantage for my fleas. I don’t remember the people who abandoned me perhaps because I have blocked them from my memory due to the pain they caused me.

After being neutered, (that’s a big owie) I was allowed to roam the vet’s office and sit on the counter and watch all the pets come and go as they were treated and released. I felt like the king of the roost. Within a few weeks my wound had healed, my coat was silky and clean and I looked like my old self. Even so, I was depressed because every night the vet and her staff left for the night and enclosed me in a steel cage with a big heavy door. I know it was for my own safety, but still I was unhappy.

A few months went by and during that time I saw a couple come in to the vet’s office frequently to get cat food and sometimes to bring a cat in for treatment. They were the only humans who were not put off by my mammoth size. I gave my best effort to show off for them every time they came in, but to no avail. They even went to the wall poster where a cat that looked like me was the poster child for Turkish Van cats. They petted me and seemed fond of me but passed me by as they brought their Prescription Diet cat food out to their Honda SUV.

One day, the vet was opening a kennel for boarding and she had an open house for all her customers. She put me in a wooden cat condo with a glass door with a “queen” size cat canopy bed. The staff put a sign on the glass that I was up for adoption for a $40 fee. I faced the wall and my dumper and tail hung listlessly off the bed. I knew no one was going to adopt me and that I would forever be locked in small places until I grew old and died.

A few people passed by and made note of my beautiful black tail, but they were there to see the kennel and the dogs - not me. My heart sank deeper and deeper. I am sure there were tears in my eyes.

I heard another couple come by and stop in front of the cat condo and they were talking softly between themselves. The woman tapped lightly on the window. I forced myself to raise my head and glance over. My heart took a leap! It was the couple that I had seen before at the vet’s office – the couple with the Honda SUV!

I heard the woman say to the man – “He is so unhappy. I can’t believe that no one has adopted him. He is so gorgeous.” She looked at the man and said “I know how much you want him. Since today is your birthday let’s adopt him. Let’s call him ‘Snicker’.” The man hugged the woman and grinned! I jumped up in anticipation as I knew this couple was going to provide me with my forever home!

Yippee!

Farewell, So long, Adios, Aloha and Cat Ciao for now!

Kittens!

It is I – Snicker - back again! I need a good stretch. Ahhhh.

Well, I am kind of set in my ways and as I said many times cats do not like change.

A few months back HM and HD adopted a stray mother cat with 5 (FIVE! I counted them!) three-day old kittens. They lived on the lanai in the pool enclosure in a covered bunny hutch. The kittens looked like little mice to me. They had round ears and no eyes. They pulled themselves around on their bellies and were at the snack bar all day. I heard HM say that they would only be there for 10 to 12 weeks until they were adopted into their forever homes. Whew. I was worried there for a while that I had to teach more kittens the ropes! (I did that several times before – but more on that in future blogs.)

They called Mom “Razzberry”. Razzberry? Who calls a black cat with white paws Razzberry? Anyway, all of Razz’s little punks looked just like her - they were all black and white. As they got older and more mobile, I watched them cautiously through the kitchen door. I could see almost the entire patio around the pool, so I knew where they were at all times. They were definitely crazy cats! They were zooming around and around the pool – I wondered if they would fall in – snicker snicker. Do you know how much cats love water? NOT. They hate it. I am a water-loving cat they say. Ha! There is no way you are going to give me a what? BATH?

One day HD was reading the paper on the pool deck and the kittens were playing on the chaise lounge and oops, the cushion fell right into the pool with several kittens! You never saw those guys move so fast. “Nano-second” has a brand new meaning! They climbed out of the pool in a flash and shook off as only cats can do. Boy were they mad! HD was on it, grabbed one of the Charter Club bath towels, wrapped them up, and dried them off quick as a wink. It was great kitty TV that day!

I became a little lackadaisical about watching the door as HM and HD entered the kitchen from the pool area. Nothing seemed to be happening so nothing to worry about. One day - Blam! What the heck? The door had opened and Razz came in through the door in a flash and pounced at me with a vengeance – struck me on my butt with her front paw and then immediately turned and ran back out the door to the lanai. I was dazed. I shook my head and wondered what the blazes happened. HM and HD were laughing at the incident. My feelings were hurt and I went and sulked for a while.

Apparently, according to HM and HD, Razz was flexing her female muscles and wanted to let me know that she was protecting her kittens from the likes of me!

Whew. I guess I have to be more cognizant of Razz’s whereabouts going forward.

Cat Ciao for now.

"Feelin' Fine"

Well I’m back. I had a nap – well several actually.

I have to comment on my favorite kitty litter. Read on. My Human Mom and Dad (HM and HD) used to use clay litter, which wasn’t really absorbent, but they didn’t know any better. And… Oh! Did it stink! One day of urine collection and all of us cats were walking around with clothespins on our noses and boy did that hurt!

Anyway, one day HM had a manufacturer’s coupon for a new product that she thought she would try on us cats. The new product smelled like pine trees which was nice for our kitty noses. I looked at the bag that was nice and green and had a pretty kitty on the front. The bag said “Feline Pine”. At first I wasn’t sure I read that right and thought it said “Feeling Fine”. Either way I guess we were in for another change. I get suspicious when I hear HM say “something new”. Remember I said cats don’t like change?

I watched HM from my perch on the Maytag dryer (I like the dryer ‘cause when HM is doing laundry I can get nice and warm) as she was wrangling with the numerous kitty litter boxes. Apparently, the directions for substituting a new kitty litter for an old one are more complex than I thought. There is a “transition period”. The process as I saw it was the new kitty litter “Feline Pine” was put in the bottom of the litter pan and a few inches of the old clay kitty litter was placed on top so us cats got used to it gradually. Come On! Do these people think we are stupid? Just put the stuff in the litter box.

HM looked at me with a smile and said – “Snicker, this new kitty litter is much healthier for you and for the house. Clay kitty litter can get in your digestive system when you clean your paws. And you know - You are what you eat!” So, now I am going to be a pine tree? I didn’t quite get that. I like being a cat.

Well remember that I am a BIG cat. I weigh in about 22 pounds and I am not fat. I can’t really fit into the covered kitty litter boxes so I use the open ones. Well clay litter is weighty so no problem when I balance on the edge of the kitty litter pan. (I don’t like getting my feet dirty in the kitty litter.) When I tried this balancing act on the kitty litter pan filled with 1 inch of “Feline Pine” – woops! Over I went and the kitty litter and I wound up in a heap on the floor. I decided I needed some more practice with this new litter and how to balance without flipping over.

I’ll study this during my next nap…..

Anyway, we now have a house that smells like pine trees instead of cat urine and our noses feel better ‘cause we don’t need clothes pins anymore.

Cat Ciao!

Cat's View of The World

This is a cat’s view of the world…….

OK. Ok , I know it’s not possible for cats to use a computer…but stay with me here. My name is Snicker. I am a Turkish Van and I live with my human parents and a slew of other cats that were abandoned in our neighborhood after “Charley” which was some kind of rain and wind event that my parents talk about.

I am not fazed by much and except for scaring humans and other cats (snicker snicker) by my massive size, I am a pretty laid-back fellow. My parents give me a lot of credit for being intelligent and I applaud them for that because I am intelligent and except for Jackson (the elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor with that guy) all my feline buddies are smart. Hey - we got these humans to bring us in didn’t we? They feed us and dote on us - don’t they? And let’s face it. We don’t have to do much except smile at them and purr when petted and roll around a little and chase feathers for their amusement. It’s a small price to pay for all our creature comforts.

But, I digress.

One of my buddies – Ling Ling who is a beautiful Siamese-Tabby crossbreed got an infection in his wee-wee. (Ling Ling loosely translated in Chinese means "Sweetest of the Sweet".) Human Mom (HM) went crazy and brought poor Ling Ling to the cat doctor and I can only guess what they did to him there. The male cat wee-wee isn’t that large and HM said something about a catheter being inserted? Ouch.

So anyway, HM comes home with some new bags and cans of cat food. I snooped around the corner of the kitchen and saw that this wasn’t our usual brand. I overheard HM say to Human Dad (HD) that Ling Ling was prone to crystals and the vet suggested a special prescription cat food. I could feel my lip curl at that one. And so? Well then, because Ling Ling had wee wee problems we all had to eat this new food. I peeked at the bag again. It had a picture of a cat on the bag and the letters “S O”. So? The manufacturer was Royal Canin and this was special food for cats with urinary tract problems. Well, I had no problem with my wee wee so why do I have to eat it?

HM looked down at me as if she read my mind and said – “Snicker, the vet said we can feed all of you guys this new food and it is especially good for you boy cats.”

Anyway, I lost that battle and after starving myself for two hours, I decided to try it. It wasn’t bad, but I didn’t want to show HM too much enthusiasm. Cats don’t like change and I was happy with the old food.

Well the long and short of it is Ling Ling is fine and hasn’t died from his wee wee problem, so I guess I am OK with Royal Canin’s SO. After all, I don’t want anything bad to happen to any of my cat buddies.

Time for one of my catnaps. So long for now……

 Cat Caio.